Melodic

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Melodic

Music hides within the warm of a dying breath

stale with time in forgotten heartbeats of joy,

a melody played more than once before it’s death

in a hopeless sacrifice of will seeking to destroy

the sweetness found in the innocence of love.

~

A fading tune with a slight taste of hidden passion

found in thirsty lips oblivious of loneliness and pain,

a soothing vagueness like ether in numbing fashion

sprouting dreams of youth that helps keeping sane

when desperation and longing sets in thereof.

~

The music playing softly keeping beat with my heart

in an elusive state of confused memories and reality,

a choice to let go and become silent or to be a part

of a life dancing away to the tune of my mortality.

H.O. 6/25/14

A Father (re-posted for Father’s Day)

For the one that holds me in place and motivates my thirst for life, my only true love, my daughter.

Father - 2010 Pedro Solorzano

A Father

When autumn comes and life goes on

my daughter dear, another year

time gives to you and takes from me,

another candle is there now blown

with wishes still not fully clear

and love not found to be so free,

but you keep smiling as life goes on.

~

And what I want on father’s day

for you my dear so close to stay,

to hold you tight and not let go

protecting you from all the harm,

from all the tears and all the pain-

But what I wish I wish in vain

as you my love adventures want

and just this life you now outgrow

so holding tight, I’ll let you go.

H.O. June 11, 2013

For My Veli

Lyzeveli

Father’s day is coming and like every  year I take time to reflect on being a father and often wonder how my daughter sees me. I love her more than anything in this world and she is my light. Two years ago I wrote this poem for her when she graduated from high school just before her birthday which is October. The pic above was taken a few weeks after she was born. I also posted two more pictures at the end of the poem, one taken when she was so cute and little and the other this year. Her name is Lyzeveli but I used to call her Veli.

For My Veli

As fall approached leaves turning gold

you came into my life.

I was nervous, unsure

about doing this right.

I was crazy for sure,

for thinking, for staying

when I knew of your heartbeat,

and praying

for you and for me.

~

They said you couldn’t see

when I look in your eyes,

but I was there

with arms stretched trembling with joy.

I was there by your side

waiting to hold you,

getting annoyed

for waiting while you cried.

~

First hours of life

counting fingers,

one two three

I felt you breathe,

four five

I saw you smile,

six seven

I was in heaven,

eight nine and ten

I count it again.

~

You gave me hope

and kept me there.

Even the times I almost dared,

without knowing

you brought me back,

you helped me cope.

~

Now, from dad to father I become

and you still there

holding me fast,

slowly drifting somewhere

to a place I cannot come,

to a place you will call home

while I become the past.

~

I made peace with this,

to let you go

as you grow,

to call you daughter

with proud lips,

to see you love and suffer

as I did

heart of my heart.

I know you’ll go far

without me at your side,

always watching from far

without knowing that you kept me,

that you saved me,

and it is alright.

~

As fall approaches leaves turning gold,

you will cross, go even farther.

Can you see now?

a heartbeat, a smile that I love to hold

as you make me proud,

and you call me father.

H.O. May 2012

“For My Veli”

17

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Unheeded

lost_love_by_darrenclarke-d5r0jod

Unheeded

Time runs out in my futile attempts to find

what lost became but leaving traces behind,

pressed against my tender heart neglected

in the middle of dreams and life unaffected.

~

But giving up cannot be an accepted option

pausing in my search entertaining the notion

that to live life alone I may not be prepared

but to love and behold I may also not dare.

~

And what may I become If I cannot entertain

my attraction to something I may never obtain,

while life slips away ‘tween cracks in my heart

and dreams or desires slowly falling apart.

H.O. June 4, 2014