Deficiency

dried heart

 

Deficiency

.

What takes to create such beauty in the words I write

I weave the intensity of memories reserved for nights

when tears stain my pillow, no reason to cry

but the absence of a heartbeat in a world so bright

that stepping from shadows into the lights

cause permanent blindness every time I try.

.

Unsatisfied I travel roads occupied by many

searching for the same or the insane

if insanity travels similar roads and the line is fine

a transparency difficult to understand if any

when searching for meaning among the pain,

what’s left if we are lost and the blood leave a stain

in the dreams we form with the passing of time.

.

But to feel my dried up heart resuscitated from the ashes

left by past burning fires that now occupy my sleep

and keep me from dying in the midst of defeat,

if I can recover all the wonders as life rehashes

old stories and beautiful words would allow me to keep

and live with the intensity lacking in a dying heartbeat.

.

H.O. 11/5/14

.

This poem is about the lack of intense feelings in life, the moments where we search the past for the muse needed to compose the words. Desperately searching those feelings for our next fix as the ink dries up and the pages remain blank. Becoming stale and emotionally neutral is like dying without the benefits or heaven, if such exists.

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4 thoughts on “Deficiency

  1. I am reading this with a heavy-heart….and became teary-eyed when I read this — “Becoming stale and emotionally neutral is like dying without the benefits or heaven, if such exists”….♥

    • Hector says:

      This one has much meaning for me with messages weaved in between those lines. You are familiar with these feelings that sometimes shadow my mind. Remmeber when I told you that I love the idea of being in love, because it is living and heavens and not emotionally neutral. “what’s left if we are lost and the blood leave a stain, in the dreams we form with the passing of time”- was thinking about hoe people hurt themselves to just find something in pain as opposed to be stale or lack of feelings. *sigh Sometimes I can feel these things deeply. ❤

  2. Dana Renee says:

    I cannot explain how much I love this piece and your explanation behind it. Thank you, Hector, for sharing so much of yourself.

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