The Curse


The Curse


I live my life in between twenty-eight days

when everything I am disappears in a daze

 vicious cycle in the cursed transformation

that makes living my life pure damnation.


Oh how I dread that night of full moon

with silver the only fear I’m not immune

when nothing else would take my life

bullets will not do neither a sharp knife.


But pain I feel in every bone and in my skin

with silver light transforming all within

and howl I must when I feel a call of wild

with every cell into a new life compiled.


Run, I run through woods away from all

escaping the insanity of a need to maul

beating flesh for a sweet taste of blood

while trashing though the grass and mud.


There is no end to this cursed existence

and with every life I take without resistance

I curse myself into another night of hell

hoping for a silver bullet to end the spell.



Once I Go


Once I Go


Once I go, I don’t want to be found

lost won’t be nor alone

a duffle bag of memories hung by my side

in my pockets fear tucked away inside

and regrets, well regrets will keep in hand

“like a seed that has been sown”

but no one to understand.


Once I go, my footprints will disappear

and only dust will remain

for none to follow or none to see

in the distance if I look back to appease

the guilt and pain I leave behind

once I go from looking back I will refrain

for lost won’t be

and in the dark my way will find.



“I have learned that if you must leave a place that you have lived in and loved and where all your yesteryears are buried deep, leave it any way except a slow way, leave it the fastest way you can. Never turn back and never believe that an hour you remember is a better hour because it is dead. Passed years seem safe ones, vanquished ones, while the future lives in a cloud, formidable from a distance.”
Beryl Markham, West with the Night


let go



Memories scratching the surface

“let it go, let it go”

eyes ahead on the road

“take the sight, feel the wind”

When time memories disperses

there is a reason,

dig no deeper until you are ready

“take a break and enjoy the season”

for you hurt so much already.







I said goodbye more times than I said hello

sometimes left behind something

always took with me something.

And I fed the memories

at night before sleep hoping to dream

of what I left behind

and in the morning’s beam

I would dust the memories

and would say hello.

But the holding on couldn’t go forever

so I said goodbye

and in the morning’s beam

never said hello.





Let the loud music fill the room

a rhythmic beat of drums and saxophone

drowning the voices, drowning the voices.

I dance to the beat singing a song

but I can’t dance and I can’t sing

Closing my eyes I let it all sip in

through the open pores of my skin.

It is a good day I presume

finding myself dancing and singing a tune

but I can’t dance and I can’t sing.

Just messing around in a Sunday afternoon while cooking some good rice with chicken and pinto beans.






A stranger touched my heart with just one word

pleading eyes hiding the shame

that hunger makes easy to swallow

making vanity look as hollow

and just absurd.

A stranger is a stranger just the same

but this one made me pause

in the comfort of my day

and let a moment become the judge

for all my shame

that easy hides when I misjudge

a pleading stranger.

A stranger touched my heart and walked away.






Sometimes I feel shorter and smaller with eyes casted down

unable to equally measure the who and what I am,

trapped in the twisted reflection found

on the blurred stained mirrors in my mind.


Sometimes in the company of friends I find

my shortcomings written all over my hands

and I hide from them and pretend to be a man

full of wisdom and pride with a confident mind

while inside I just know no one understands.


Sometimes in the midst of beauty and youth

I feel left behind, unattractive and old

and I cast my eyes down with the pain of my truth

giving up all my hopes, wishes and dreams.


Sometimes, just sometimes life is hard as it seems

but I know deep inside with the knowledge I hold

that the twisted ideas that I sadly behold

are no more than my thoughts

holding on to the extremes.