The Curse

werewolfeye

The Curse

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I live my life in between twenty-eight days

when everything I am disappears in a daze

 vicious cycle in the cursed transformation

that makes living my life pure damnation.

~

Oh how I dread that night of full moon

with silver the only fear I’m not immune

when nothing else would take my life

bullets will not do neither a sharp knife.

~

But pain I feel in every bone and in my skin

with silver light transforming all within

and howl I must when I feel a call of wild

with every cell into a new life compiled.

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Run, I run through woods away from all

escaping the insanity of a need to maul

beating flesh for a sweet taste of blood

while trashing though the grass and mud.

~

There is no end to this cursed existence

and with every life I take without resistance

I curse myself into another night of hell

hoping for a silver bullet to end the spell.

H.O

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Once I Go

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Once I Go

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Once I go, I don’t want to be found

lost won’t be nor alone

a duffle bag of memories hung by my side

in my pockets fear tucked away inside

and regrets, well regrets will keep in hand

“like a seed that has been sown”

but no one to understand.

~

Once I go, my footprints will disappear

and only dust will remain

for none to follow or none to see

in the distance if I look back to appease

the guilt and pain I leave behind

once I go from looking back I will refrain

for lost won’t be

and in the dark my way will find.

H.O

~~~~~~~

“I have learned that if you must leave a place that you have lived in and loved and where all your yesteryears are buried deep, leave it any way except a slow way, leave it the fastest way you can. Never turn back and never believe that an hour you remember is a better hour because it is dead. Passed years seem safe ones, vanquished ones, while the future lives in a cloud, formidable from a distance.”
Beryl Markham, West with the Night

Sooth-in

let go

Sooth-in

~

Memories scratching the surface

“let it go, let it go”

eyes ahead on the road

“take the sight, feel the wind”

When time memories disperses

there is a reason,

dig no deeper until you are ready

“take a break and enjoy the season”

for you hurt so much already.

~

H.O

Goodbyes

goodbye-hello-logo

Goodbyes

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I said goodbye more times than I said hello

sometimes left behind something

always took with me something.

And I fed the memories

at night before sleep hoping to dream

of what I left behind

and in the morning’s beam

I would dust the memories

and would say hello.

But the holding on couldn’t go forever

so I said goodbye

and in the morning’s beam

never said hello.

H.O

Tune

Tune

~

Let the loud music fill the room

a rhythmic beat of drums and saxophone

drowning the voices, drowning the voices.

I dance to the beat singing a song

but I can’t dance and I can’t sing

Closing my eyes I let it all sip in

through the open pores of my skin.

It is a good day I presume

finding myself dancing and singing a tune

but I can’t dance and I can’t sing.

Just messing around in a Sunday afternoon while cooking some good rice with chicken and pinto beans.

H.O

Beggary

beggar

Beggary

~

A stranger touched my heart with just one word

pleading eyes hiding the shame

that hunger makes easy to swallow

making vanity look as hollow

and just absurd.

A stranger is a stranger just the same

but this one made me pause

in the comfort of my day

and let a moment become the judge

for all my shame

that easy hides when I misjudge

a pleading stranger.

A stranger touched my heart and walked away.

H.O

Twisted

broken-mirror

Twisted

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Sometimes I feel shorter and smaller with eyes casted down

unable to equally measure the who and what I am,

trapped in the twisted reflection found

on the blurred stained mirrors in my mind.

~

Sometimes in the company of friends I find

my shortcomings written all over my hands

and I hide from them and pretend to be a man

full of wisdom and pride with a confident mind

while inside I just know no one understands.

~

Sometimes in the midst of beauty and youth

I feel left behind, unattractive and old

and I cast my eyes down with the pain of my truth

giving up all my hopes, wishes and dreams.

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Sometimes, just sometimes life is hard as it seems

but I know deep inside with the knowledge I hold

that the twisted ideas that I sadly behold

are no more than my thoughts

holding on to the extremes.

~

H.O