Ruminations of a Cloudy Life

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Ruminations of a Cloudy Life

~

A sweet-sour sense of quietly fading into a background

of shadows like stains left from spilled life,

not quite done but knowing it all ends in one act,

memorized lines learned along the way to enact

one more scene to satisfy my audience-

And how it flickers this fragile light

fueled by the essence of all that it’s found

in the beauty of miracles astounded

by the emotions I carry, such love and care

a reminder of what is to live despite

the twist and turns encountered in my travels.

Pause… take a deep breath and feel today

the curtain drawn back, the act unravels

into a silent story bound to disappear

as forgotten words and expressions decay

like leaves falling too late

into the wet coldness of my winters.

Pause… review the lines learned along the way,

listen to the subtle voice playing behind

the loudness of this reality,

the one that wants and dreams hinders

like the edge of a razor cutting away

brief moments of eternal wishes.

Pause… another deep breath,

I am here, flesh and bones aching

between my heartbeats of mortality

waiting for the curtain to drop one last time

on this act I so well created when death

becomes the last part to play.

Pause… pause… pause…

for eternity-

H.O


“The first thing fading is your beauty

the least trustworthy is your mind

down here on this earth

nothing’s of any worth

in the end

in the end”

― Fabian W. Williges, Far from perfect: songs & poems

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Chrysalis

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Chrysalis

~

I wish to hold you in solace

your body a cocoon

hidden from the pain of life.

And I won’t disturb you before

is time to slowly emerge

break free and fly,

the splendor of colors

reflected on your wings

my beautiful butterfly

H.O


“Sometimes to change a situation you are in requires you to take a giant leap. But, you won’t be able to fly unless you are willing to transform.”- 

― Suzy Kassem, Rise Up and Salute the Sun

Adrift

(c) Paul Andrew Dunker 2014

 

Adrift

~

Let the current take me,

not a strong swimmer I am

but a floating old tree

adrift too many times to find

the strength-

And I won’t mind to be

another countless one,

I was another one before

in dreams unmoored

with sails secure, a helm

to steer my life

into a sea of hope.

And I was helpless lured

to shores of paradise

that never was but a mirage

of my desires-

So let me drift

and be a floating old tree

wherever life would push ashore

I cannot swim, not anymore

just drift along

and wait for storms

 to take me far,

or break me apart-

H.O


“We keep drifting till we see light. Seldom do we realize that the light was always there!”

― Avijeet Das

 

Confluence

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Confluence

~

I ambled along the edge of my days

Patience is a virtue they say if you know how to wait

but my life written past compromising my fate

burning light in a waste of a daze

served a master in memories graze.

~

But so hard to let go of the passing of life

Time’s a cruel thief they say but none has been taken

when I gave it away or it was most forsaken

clenching strong to the edge of a knife

thus neglecting to keep ‘self alive.

~

And what I seek if a master of winds

Life to be lived not controlled they say but I yank

and I push while I gulped and I drank

dragging stories behind with a glimpse

of my life just one set of footprints.

~

So I drift on these places that passed

Renew, release and let go they say while you can

does not matter where all things began

while I question how long all will last

living life between present and past-

H.O

“Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.”

― Søren Kierkegaard

My Eyes

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My Eyes

~

“They are sad”- my mother said about my eyes

then kissed them both with tender care

and told me “life is never sadness”

but later found that in her kindness

she failed to see how through my years

from all the pain could not be spared.

~

“They are naughty” – my lover said about my eyes

and kissed them both lost in desire

then told me “life is full of pleasure

with every moment to hold and treasure”

 cradling my body between her thighs

my lover taught me about lust and fire.

~

“They are fierce” – my friend said about my eyes

and touched them softly with great affection

then told me “life is there for taking

if you are a winner into the making”

but later found that makes no sense

when life is nothing without direction.

~

“They are old” – I told myself about my eyes

the mirror spoke of passing times

my mother’s words of love and sadness

a distant memory lost in the madness

of every day, and all I see with these old eyes

are long gone dreams within the rhymes-

H.O

Caged

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Caged

~

In caged freedom I wish to touch above the sky

but arms while strong will not suffice

and didn’t teach my wings to fly-

A cage of gold becomes the life I ever known

and seems so far as ever flown

was in my dreams,

but real they seemed

with strongest wings I flew so far

that when I reached to touch the sky,

I touched a star-

H.O

“Reach high, for stars lie hidden in your soul. Dream deep, for every dream precedes the goal.”

– Pamela Vaull Starr

Late

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Late

~

Such fear that I’m late-

I woke up too late from a long spun dream

on butterfly wings that later flew away

and I fear I’m late.

Life just passed me by and never said goodbye

so I never knew I would wake up late

‘til I heard the flap when the wings collapsed

on my butterfly, and my dreams just died,

as I woke up late-

H.O

“Don’t you ever get the feeling that all your life is going by and you’re not taking advantage of it? Do you realize you’ve lived nearly half the time you have to live already?”

― Ernest Hemingway, The Sun Also Rises