By accident-

I came to be, to exist in the same space

of blooming choices where mines a seed

not planted right, a crooked vine

which sometimes flowers, confused

I say, sometimes my need

to become roses-

In random numbers life discloses

what blindness see

in dreams alone, when if survive

I become god’s divine excuse

By chance-

I say, sometimes it’s true

that time around the fire goes

and we become a waiting number,

unlucky draw, god only knows,

I’m just a vine dreaming of roses-


“There are patterns because we try to find them. A desperate attempt at order because we can’t face the terror that it might all be random.”

― Lauren Beukes, The Shining Girls





I do not belong, knew it from the start-

out of place among the ones to claim me

open arms full of love for which I retaliated,

pulled away and walked my own.

Out of place with the ones that used me

my innocence tree of life defoliated

scarred in places I can’t even see.

I do not belong for I felt a stranger

among those with skin and words alike

kin cells from roots I called my own.

I belong only to memories left in the sand

footprints left to fade away

scattered through the places I like-

I do not belong among the things I want

but only in dreams did I find a place

and felt safe and complete.

And once life my hopes deplete

in death I will find my way

to the place where I belong.







I can hear a familiar tongue

in words escaping your mind

a distant memory of child dreams

left forgotten in sand castles.

I was then foolish and young

always looking for the extremes

until waves washed away

the castles I wish I could find

when my life became a hassle

and I live now day by day.


I will return to that place

in ashes within her hand

and with the water embrace

my castles left on the sand.