Ruminations of a Cloudy Life

stage1

 

Ruminations of a Cloudy Life

~

A sweet-sour sense of quietly fading into a background

of shadows like stains left from spilled life,

not quite done but knowing it all ends in one act,

memorized lines learned along the way to enact

one more scene to satisfy my audience-

And how it flickers this fragile light

fueled by the essence of all that it’s found

in the beauty of miracles astounded

by the emotions I carry, such love and care

a reminder of what is to live despite

the twist and turns encountered in my travels.

Pause… take a deep breath and feel today

the curtain drawn back, the act unravels

into a silent story bound to disappear

as forgotten words and expressions decay

like leaves falling too late

into the wet coldness of my winters.

Pause… review the lines learned along the way,

listen to the subtle voice playing behind

the loudness of this reality,

the one that wants and dreams hinders

like the edge of a razor cutting away

brief moments of eternal wishes.

Pause… another deep breath,

I am here, flesh and bones aching

between my heartbeats of mortality

waiting for the curtain to drop one last time

on this act I so well created when death

becomes the last part to play.

Pause… pause… pause…

for eternity-

H.O


“The first thing fading is your beauty

the least trustworthy is your mind

down here on this earth

nothing’s of any worth

in the end

in the end”

― Fabian W. Williges, Far from perfect: songs & poems

Advertisements

Of what will become

Love and Loss (Angled)

 

Of what will become

~

I am tired-

My body crushed beneath the weight of a million years

my soul infected with the plague of disappointments craves

the silent rest of eternal night, the quiet weight of graves

to house my flesh, to complete my cycle and be home again-

And how I loved this life, forsaken roads leading to places

full of joy among the tears I shed at times of tribulation,

the miracles of flowers, sunlight and my laughing child.

I loved it all and made it mine in happiness and pain

all exhausted until nothing left but shadows in isolation

nothing left but dark stains of history mapping my skin

from where all began to where x marks the spot

of my here and now, tired from the weight of years-

~

The overgrowth hides the stone

carved letters of forgotten name

under a quiet lot facing the ocean

forever now  extinguished flame

H.O


“Life’s just a bunch of accidents, connected by one perfect end.”

― Daniel C. Tomas

Aftertaste

362c5f436ed01fb5448e3122bd9f795e

Aftertaste

~

There is something left in broken fragments

on the tongue within the sweetness a sour taste

lingering amid residual flavors-

A puzzle’s piece lost in the shuffling and haste

of drunken early mornings and late nights

when gulping every bit like sweetest wine.

But how thirsty I remained after all

was consumed, waking up all alone

from a fuddled life as I stumble and fall,

and then shattered I’m left with the aftertaste

of the broken fragments-

H.O

My Eyes

eyes-window-soul

My Eyes

~

“They are sad”- my mother said about my eyes

then kissed them both with tender care

and told me “life is never sadness”

but later found that in her kindness

she failed to see how through my years

from all the pain could not be spared.

~

“They are naughty” – my lover said about my eyes

and kissed them both lost in desire

then told me “life is full of pleasure

with every moment to hold and treasure”

 cradling my body between her thighs

my lover taught me about lust and fire.

~

“They are fierce” – my friend said about my eyes

and touched them softly with great affection

then told me “life is there for taking

if you are a winner into the making”

but later found that makes no sense

when life is nothing without direction.

~

“They are old” – I told myself about my eyes

the mirror spoke of passing times

my mother’s words of love and sadness

a distant memory lost in the madness

of every day, and all I see with these old eyes

are long gone dreams within the rhymes-

H.O

Late

405663_10150656196119976_692829975_11080414_755897958_n

Late

~

Such fear that I’m late-

I woke up too late from a long spun dream

on butterfly wings that later flew away

and I fear I’m late.

Life just passed me by and never said goodbye

so I never knew I would wake up late

‘til I heard the flap when the wings collapsed

on my butterfly, and my dreams just died,

as I woke up late-

H.O

“Don’t you ever get the feeling that all your life is going by and you’re not taking advantage of it? Do you realize you’ve lived nearly half the time you have to live already?”

― Ernest Hemingway, The Sun Also Rises

To Dream

dreams2

To Dream

~

To dream, I forget to dream

and life catches up with a brief reflection

of a stranger’s face

on a window pane at the corner store.

Sadness keeps no more

but hard to retrace

a diverging road lost without direction

while I simply live, and forget to dream.

H.O

“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.”
Lao Tzu

Winter

lonely-winter-walk

Winter

(new edit)

~

What is this world we created?

Born out of shadows and pain it grows

every word planted in a fruitless garden

where seeds wither and harden

and bear no witness to our design.

Fall turns to winter in emotions confined

to the coldness of a feeling that froze

in a couple of verses with no ending found

to a story abandoned as new seeds find

its way in a new spring full of dreams.

But to every winter we are bound

playing in summer with new schemes

not meant to last, for every verse dictated

comes to exist as a reminder of what seems

a life destined to the winter we created.

H.O

― “Nothing burns like the cold. But only for a while. Then it gets inside you and starts to fill you up, and after a while you don’t have the strength to fight it.”
― George R.R. Martin, A Game of Thrones