Of Time and Fears


Of Time and Fears


“It is not death but time I fear”

he said with sadness reflected eyes

and truth behold when feed the lies

of what we are or shall become

when death is near.

“And what is love we hold so dear?”

Ah, if love could only forever last,

It felt like rain in warm mid-spring

a gentle breeze, a storm now past.

“But what will be when we are done?”

We were but dust and dust alone

when love and life is just a fling

that leave a trace so hard to follow,

just taste the sweet and bitter swallow

for then one day the end will come

and it’s not death but time we fear.







I wander in search of a better self-

spirit broken but redeemed every sunrise

for every night I dwell on sins

of past and present,

but every morning I wake and rise

and life begins.

No answers left in dreams but how I try

when visit every place

and every night

the searching leaves a trace

to follow in my search for better self.






Attracted by sadness I step closer to the edge for just a moment, a sudden craving for a taste of tears lingering with the memories of salty bittersweet.  It is not that I seek the solace of dark rooms and cloudy days nor do I crave the pain of being outcast from happiness and smiles. There is attraction in sadness reflected by a beautiful face, lost eyes searching for a non-existent reason, tears leaving a trail across solitary skin.


Sadness reflects such a deep emotion

deeper and deeper scraping away

underneath the skin of my very soul,

a reflected image of a part I stole

only for a while and to keep I may

if I find solace in such crazy notion.


Standing in shadows of such darkness

let me feel the pain you willingly share

within hasty words and in bitter tears,

I will not find comfort in your fears

but to step much closer I would dare

for a hidden taste of your sadness.



addiction photo for intro


Hope spreads thin between your days

a distant light that fades at times

evaporating within your fingers,

and seeds you plant sprout in vines

that chokes your life and leaves a haze

while dreams in shadows linger.


And liquid hope your lips will touch

in brief reprise from all the pain

that may dissolve within your death,

and all you did you did in vain

if living once you lived too much

as hope becomes one final breath.


H.O. May 10, 2015




Stuck in the limbo of things

lacking something

trying to fly without wings

I sleep… I sleep…

No morning to define

a new day

promises rusted

old lies… new lies..

Arms entrusted

to care… to stay…

I’ll be fine.


H.O. 4/15/15

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When old and exhausted I pause to look back once more

a gesture of grace and acceptance of what was before

and no longer holds when letting go becomes easy to do

of everything left behind dismissing the what or the who.


And what roads will open up as I look ahead in my travel

with an open mind when new things and places unravel

and decisions made in history no longer feed me regrets

creating the twist and turns in a life that easy forgets.


What I leave behind doesn’t matter once I accept my fate

without the reflected shadows in the mirror that I hate

leaving behind all my shame of a life carelessly wasted

between the sweet and the sour that I willingly tasted.


Now I prepare my departure to the place where I belong

teaching the ones which I love to be right or to be wrong

and to embrace with their faith a life like mine before

when old and exhausted I pause to look back once more.


H.O. 1/23/15





Going back I get stuck in dark places

a bitter taste left from all the traces

of memories hiding behind mind walls

built to stand through life painful falls.

Would I tear down all my defenses

in search of relief from my offenses?

But relief does not comes from hiding

throughout the years of not deciding

when holding life within my hands

I locked away my dreams and wants

while life just passed and left me alone.

But how ironic to believe I was done

and now my sleep is just a nightmare

when to break my walls I cannot dare

and death the option that becomes

when can’t let go of all that comes

and rather stay in the dark places

and hide away behind pretenses.


H.O. 12/17/14




You are not darkness but misunderstood light

a liberator of flesh binding chains

seeking to emancipate my soul,

you are freedom that becomes my right

as the blood running through my veins.

What’s left disappointments and pains

and what I keep will forever behold

is what I seek in the midst of my fight,

you are the light and not darkness at all.


Dream Within the Night


Dream within the Night

I saw you within the shadows,

I looked at you for a moment.

What is it that you seek? I asked,

Is it the present or the past?

But no answer was a torment

and your eyes I couldn’t follow.


I tried to smile to no avail

as your lips did not part

and your eyes did not move.

Answer me! But there you stood

quiet and not too far

and for that was not prepared.


I ready myself to flight

but wanted to know the truth

by slowly touching your face,

failing to my own disgrace

as it was no longer you

but a dream within the night.